Thank you for your patience! However, before we stamp our final verdict, we'd like to request a few revisions!
First is on Roxy's first Echo: the cause isn't linked quite clearly to what is Echoed, and so we'd like to ask for tweaking in either the cause or the Echo or an alternative!
We'd also like a bit of expansion on the reincarnated Roxy's history and personality sections - for example, on the former, what was Roxy's living situation like after her father died and her mother left, and why was she relocated to Locke City?
Finally, your first-person sample is solid - however, we'd like to see an alternate or expanded third-person sample - we do get a sense of her thought process but would like a bit more of her personality come through along with it!
With this we shall be straight back to you - and sorry for the inconvenience!
REVISION REQUEST
First is on Roxy's first Echo: the cause isn't linked quite clearly to what is Echoed, and so we'd like to ask for tweaking in either the cause or the Echo or an alternative!
We'd also like a bit of expansion on the reincarnated Roxy's history and personality sections - for example, on the former, what was Roxy's living situation like after her father died and her mother left, and why was she relocated to Locke City?
Finally, your first-person sample is solid - however, we'd like to see an alternate or expanded third-person sample - we do get a sense of her thought process but would like a bit more of her personality come through along with it!
With this we shall be straight back to you - and sorry for the inconvenience!